May and June Goals! Look out!

Here they are:
Interpersonal skills (overall goal)
~ Right Speech (more focused goal)
Bite your tongue and never say things that you cannot truly take back
Fight right: in words, thoughts and deeds
Pure and beautiful words: eliminate harsh language
Nobody’s perfect, express positivity in words often: show leniency and positivity
Abstain from idle chatter and gossip: I mean it.

Well, here we are again, the start of a new set of goals in the happiness quest. The above goals, upon reading them again to put them in this post, seem a little like I’m a jerk. I want to slightly clarify, in my own defense. Since, those that truly know me know, yes I can be blunt and direct, but I’ll also be your biggest fan and supporter, no matter what.

However, I also have a very short temper in certain situations… like in arguments. It’s not that I’m malicious or anything on purpose, I just want the fight to be over NOW, by any means necessary. And once I cross over the “too much drama/stress” line, all bets are off. I know that this is incredibly unhealthy for not just myself, but those I’m close to. It ends up dragging out the argument much longer and makes it significantly worse for both parties. So, instead of this, I’m going to start fighting right all the way from my thoughts to what comes out of my mouth, to even my body language. I am too old and too tired of playing baby games. I need to start acting and fighting like a rational, mature person.

The goal of “pure and beautiful words” is a Buddhist principle that, after working in a warehouse, has essentially made impossible for me to adhere to. In short, it means no cussing. I’m not typically someone who swears a lot, but when I’m with friends I let the F-bombs fly. I’ve decided that it not only makes me look stupid, it makes me feel childish and unintelligent. I have a pretty extensive vocabulary, I’m sure that I can find OTHER words to express myself.

I hold myself to an often insane and unattainable standard and I’m prone to holding others to those standards as well. I need to knock it off. It’s not fair to other people that I hold them to these standards nor is it my place to be upset with them for being human. Because of these standards I impose on people, I tend to be critical of them and because I’m also a “fixer” (by which I feel compelled to fix everything or make suggestions as to how one can fix it), I come off harsh and often bossy. I don’t want people to think I’m being critical, judging them or bossing them around. I’m just a perfectionist. However, I need to keep that crap to myself. I think others find it annoying.

Finally, I’m going to stop gossiping. I’ve been thinking about this particular goal quite a bit in the last few weeks because I knew it was coming up. I was just making a mental note of times where I gossip or just say things about people that I probably shouldn’t share. So, I’m fairly sure this goal may be one of the hardest to retrain myself in, but I’m recognizing that I need to be less of a chatterbox.

Anyway, there you have it folks! My goals for the next two months. What goals have you set out for yourselves? Are they anything like mine? Feel free to share them in the comments section. 🙂

( -credit for above picture


~ by wendemachete on May 2, 2012.

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