Happiness by the kilowatt

Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

This has been a really strange week. There was a holiday right in the middle of it and it’s hard to know what day it is, though, I know it’s Saturday. I spent half the work week thinking that it was Monday. Anyway, happiness has seemed pretty elusive for those around me. It appears to be a time of great change for several people (including myself). Some of these people are going through physical changes, others it’s geographical, still others it’s purely financial. Nevertheless, each of my friends are experiencing levels of hardship, sacrifice, or upheaval. Many of them are facing significant challenges to their lifestyle or quality of life because of the changes that are happening.

The question I’ve been thinking about in the past few days is, how can someone remain “happy” during extremely difficult situations? I know that I’m experiencing moments of pure joy during incredible struggle. From moment to moment, I can’t say for sure that I’m happy, but I am feeling the most positive about my life, my future and myself as I have in several years. This is a totally foreign feeling, simply because I’m often too focused on other things to enjoy this feeling of happiness in the moment.

At the very same time, as I’ve been told, I appear to be maintaining my composure and nobody would ever know that I was stressed, struggling or experiencing real difficulties. That, to me, is a small success. I am often quite reserved and don’t allow the whole world to see my inner workings. Once you’re within my sphere of close companions, my “tells” are much easier to read, since my guard isn’t nearly as strong. I know that a few of my friends have a similar ability, but I’m pretty good at reading them. Shout out to Peaches. 😉

Shake it Out- Florence and the Machine

I am pleased to say that while I’ve got personal struggles happening, I’ve also got personal successes happening too. I think that’s why maintaining is relatively “easy”, there seems to be a greater sense of balance between good and bad. As for the goals of Right Intention, I’ve really made it a point to cultivate the right mindset and a clear path to internal happiness.

In a conversation yesterday, a friend and I were talking about our parents not listening to our opinions, even when backed by true facts. We decided it was based on our “status” in relation to our parents. They don’t want to learn something from their kids. I know I’ve been going on about nutrition and health with my mother for years and then out of the blue she shares some information that she heard from elsewhere, that I’ve said a million times, like it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. But this conversation ended with the notion that sharing information must be effective to be worthwhile. If the audience isn’t ready, they will not absorb it. This applies to me and the happiness project in that rather than beating everyone over the head with information, I just live it. Walking the walk, and allowing that to be my method of persuasion seem to be most effective in most cases. I am open to sharing information, but wasting my time preaching helps no one.

Pictures of Success- Rilo Kiley

The other aspect of my goals that I’ve been working on primarily is finding sources of joy in my life and trying to get as much out of those experiences as I can. This has been a little bit of a struggle because I’m used to MAKING things happen, rather than enjoying them as they are. I’ve truly had to change my way of thinking, almost over night, because I was going nowhere good thinking I could control every detail of everything. So, while certain situations might not be “perfect” they’re pretty damn good as they are and I should embrace them as the wonderful experiences they are instead of being upset that they aren’t “my” way.

Collect Call- Metric

And finally, to bring this blog full circle with it’s title, music. Music has been a huge source of support, strength, courage and joy for me and several of my friends lately. We’ve been listening to a lot of music and sharing it with one another. It’s been really great getting back to music. My whole life has had an internal soundtrack and reigniting my passion for music has made every minute of my days more bright. I cannot express how amazing that feeling is, the feeling that someone has taken your struggles, heartbreaks, joys, gratitude and put them to music and shared them with you. It makes people feel less alone to know that others share their experiences and put them out in the world. I know I feel that way.

Thanks for reading this very long blog. I appreciate those of you that read it and those that also read and comment. 🙂

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~ by wendemachete on July 7, 2012.

2 Responses to “Happiness by the kilowatt”

  1. First, I just have to say thank you for sharing your thoughts…you are so not alone in this movement to find the joys of life. I personally have been trying to go through this mind detox the last two years. I have learned so much about myself by detaching from a relationship that was toxic to not only my mental health but my closest friends and family. I had been living a life constantly in a defensive mode which was blocking me from all of the happy moments. Letting go is so hard, but when I do life is so good. Even when my bank account is overdrawn and I have a crappy day at work I know there are so many great things happening in my life and more to look forward to! I love how positive you are, and even when you lose it for a minute…it’s only for a minute <3! ~Riot

    • Thanks Riot! I’ve struggled for a long time to be positive and keep myself from the evil pit of despair. But I’ve been inspired to gain control of my emotions, my head and my heart. Everyday is a new day, I’ve learned. Sadly, I do lose it from time to time, but I’m a far cry from the heap I was last year. I’m glad that I have a solid group of people that support me, even when I’m a spaz. I’d walk to the ends of the earth for my friends, it’s nice to know they’d do the same. 🙂 Thank you for your support. I hope I can be the same to you.

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