Intentions

Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

So here we are, July is almost coming to a close, and man, it’s been a toasty one throughout most of the country. We’ve had some very strange weather here… so much rain. That’s the cycle of things though, some years it’s dry, drought ridden and combustible. Other years, it’s unseasonably abundant with growth, change and during these storms, there’s often considerable destruction, but when the clouds clear, the flowers bloom.

c/o Daddy Skittles Photography

Life is that way, I think. Last year was tremendously hard for me. There were very few things that I had to be happy about, but this year, while also tremendously hard, there are finally flowers along the way. I am doing exactly what I set out to do for the first time in ages. I am growing as a person, learning new things, sharing experiences with really amazing people… what more can I ask for?

I have not only set out goals for myself that I’m keeping, but my intentions are right and there are visible and invisible payoffs. I feel amazing. I’ve had only a few, relatively speaking, encounters with my temper. This isn’t to say that I’ve not been furious over the past few weeks, because I’ve been quite mad in certain situations. However, I allow myself to be mad for a minute and collect myself so I can move on to more constructive things. Not only is this allowing me to overcome being really upset, but it’s also allowing me to let go of things more readily. I have other things to worry about and more still to enjoy. Being pissed isn’t conducive to my goals.

The last goal on the list, for some reason is often difficult for my planning, type A, over-thinking self to accomplish. I’m used to delaying fun in the hopes that there will be a larger payoff in the end. But that thinking is just silly to me now. I don’t want to wait until “the end” of whatever, to enjoy my life. I want to experience every single minute of it in ways that bring me and other people joy. Just this weekend I spent time with my closest friends, swam with my rapidly growing nephew and family for hours, and read several books about happiness and philosophy, amongst other things. Hell, I even took a nap for the first time in easily a year.

c/o Daddy Skittles Photography

None of my goals or ways of achieving them are terribly “hard”, nor are they riddled with extravagance. They are simple and small goals because that is how I see attaining true and lasting happiness, through a series of small goals, victories and experiences. Hopefully they will all lead to a larger end, but in the meantime, I am having a blast, and a cup of very strong coffee… joyful living, doing what I want and enjoying myself has taken away some of my sleep, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m never going back to where I was before. Not in this lifetime.

Happy Monday!

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~ by wendemachete on July 23, 2012.

4 Responses to “Intentions”

  1. Deferred gratification can be a trap. You are wise to enjoy the here and now., now. Not that planning for the future is a waste of time ~ it is not. But there is only so much future left and there does come a time when the future is now.

    • I agree entirely with you Daddy Skittles. I have spent the majority of my adult life worrying about the future and planning and being the responsible one amongst those I know, and while it’s saved me from some struggles and pitfalls, it’s also been at the sacrifice of fun and whimsy. One overall feeling that I have about happiness and my pursuit of it with this project is striking a balance between the present and the future. I have a very hard time planning for the future while enjoying the now. Practice makes perfect, right? 🙂

      Thank you so much for your comment and the beautiful photos! 🙂

  2. I’ve spent the past 10 years trying to find the right balance and I am not there yet. So gird your loins for a journey. But I can assure you that the voyage from always looking to the future to the expense of the now (fun enjoying the moment) has been well worth the times I’ve paid the price for not often enough planning ahead.

    You have one heck of a head start on me since you are starting far earlier in your life than I did. BTW, one of the things I found helpful was to plan fun. It has developed into better than that but it was a first step.

    • Hmmm, that’s a good idea. Planning fun. I’m a fan of spontaneity, but I think I could have different fun, perhaps with more planning. But thanks for the vote of confidence, I think I’ll need it. 🙂

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