Check, check. Is this thing on?

I realized just now, that we’re already well into August. Man, time flies when you’re not looking.

So, what I want to write about today is that moment where things become clear. Like, the “ah ha!” that people are so fond of talking about or the light switch flipping on… those kinds of moments. Several people I know have had these experiences recently, myself included.

As some of my readers/ friends know, I’ve been experiencing some pretty significant changes in my personal life (of which I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, there’s been some upheaval) and literally one evening I had enough. That night the path became crystal clear and I knew what I had to do. The subsequent months have been quite challenging for various reasons but I’ve also never felt so immediately connected with myself and knowing that the path I’ve chosen is the right one. I have learned so many valuable things about myself, how I deal with things, and where I want to go in my life. Of course, my friends and family have been instrumental in supporting me throughout all the changes, but the hard parts… the real growth and change, has been internal. That’s really what this blog has been about from the onset, seeking to achieve goals, many of which stemming entirely from an internal (often forgotten about) place within me, seeking outward actions. The feeling as if I wasn’t on the path that I felt was right for me hadn’t been a new idea, but the switch flipped the light on in that corner of my head. The path was clear. At that moment, no matter how difficult, I needed to move into action and take a different path.

When talking with people lately, they are all at various stages in this “switch” moment, and even if the light is on, they still might not be able to see what it is they’re looking for right away. However, regardless of where they are in the process and the time it might take them to come to the same spot where I was when action, immediate action, was the only choice…. they’re on their way. Some people don’t know there’s a light switch in the dark room at all and all the while, others just don’t care.

As for the list of goals:

~Right intention
Live the way I want to live, walk the walk, harmoniously
Temper, temper: whenever I get angry, meditate instead
Let it go, it’s not personal, and even if it is, it’s temporary: karma isn’t always yours
Live in the now, but think of the future: find sources of joy and memories

Here’s my progress: As you can imagine, I’m doing the first one pretty well. I’m enjoying the fact that there is no television, no clutter, nobody to watch the clock for me or question me when I get home or have people over… except for the pets, to whom I’m grateful for keeping me on a schedule. My temper, as well as my anxiety, are not easily tamed, but as someone mentioned the other day, even while I’m FURIOUS, I still have a smile on my face. That makes me happy to know. Inside I feel like I’m scowling, but it comes out a smile, how cool is that?

I’ve begun the slow process of not letting every little thing get to me. It’s much harder than I anticipated, to let things roll. But it’s a work in progress. And finally, I am so thankful that I have wonderful people around me to cheer me up when I’m feeling stressed out, that care about me and my happiness. They provide me with so many laughs. At the same time, I’ve also been reading. A lot. It’s something that I love to do and have gotten out of the habit of over the last few years. These are the simple joys and sources of memories… relaxing, reading, talking with friends and spending time with loved ones. And yet, so much happiness.


~ by wendemachete on August 8, 2012.

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