In the thick of it

Happy Tuesday fair readers.

I’m going to cut right to the chase, life is stupid hard. It seems like everywhere you turn, someone, if not ourselves are in the thick of a heap of crap. I know that lately, I’ve been personally struggling with what seems like EVERYTHING going wrong. It’s as if the universe is playing a sick joke on me, trying to find my breaking point. I can say that I’ve come pretty damn close to the edge of the cliff in my life, this awful spell is inching closer and closer to that same point. I know I could go on and on about how bad things suck, and in my head, sometimes I do. But I’m not going to waste any more time with that nonsense, nor am I going to waste your time complaining about “woe is me”. This post is not about that. Quite the opposite, actually.

The point I’m getting at is that everyone has times of feast and times of famine, so to speak. It’s all in how we survive, is what makes us who we are (Thanks Rise Against for that perfect song lyric). I know that it sounds cheesy, but it’s actually true. Studies have shown that our adaptability in times of stress actually make the effects of stress less detrimental to our health and well being. That’s science right there.

Anyway, there’s tons of literature that suggests that even while in the thick of a crisis or just a universe meltdown in our lives, if we are compassionate to ourselves and others, focus on solutions rather than freaking out and generally have a positive outlook on life… we feel the effects, both short term and long term, less and have better coping skills later when crap happens. There is also mounting evidence that stress will literally kill you.

So finding solutions and ways to alleviate the stress, even for just a few moments at a time, will increase your life and the quality of it. I’m certainly no expert on the science of stress, in the credentialed sense, but I have attended the school of hard knocks and lived so far to tell about it. I also know how stress effects our eating habits (I went to college) and I’m also an expert on my own “in the thick of it” stupid life and how I react to crap happening, constantly.

I’ll tell you what I’ve learned:

First, it’s ok to cry about how bad stuff sucks. Without that moment of hopelessness and acceptance of the situation’s effect on you, it’s often hard to get out of the whirlwind of feelings, thoughts and panic. That moment of purging is actually good for you.

Second, once the tears have dried, I always feel exhausted but also I have a clear head and can begin to work on a plan for getting things straight again. That’s the order from chaos that I keep hearing about, at least for me. I’m able to focus once I’ve got a handle on the spinning in my head.

Third, don’t be afraid to throw caution to the wind. In times of stress, uncertainty, pain and sorrow all we want to do is insulate. We want to preserve ourselves from the harsh storm. It’s in our DNA to protect the self. However, that silly ego has to go away and we need to branch out. This could be trying something that you’ve never done before, applying for a job that you’re not entirely qualified for, ASKING FOR HELP from those close to you…. there are a multitude of ways and each of them will be unique to each of us, but doing something different will lead to different circumstances. Doing the same things again and again just allows you to stagnate.

Finally, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Yes, I’m saying pull yourself up by your boot straps. I know for a fact that it’s easier to give up and even relying on other people to help dig you out of the hole, but when you go to bed at night, wherever that might be…. you’ve got yourself and your thoughts. You might be fortunate enough to have a partner in your resting place, but they don’t know what your internal monologue is saying to you and if yours is anything like mine, it’s nothing nice. But if you can, against all odds, pull yourself out of the funk, even with your jerky self sabotaging you from the inside… there’s nothing you won’t be able to accomplish.

I will be the first person to tell you that I don’t take my own advice often, but I’ll also mention that I have said nothing in this post that I’ve not heard from my close friends and family. I hate that they’re right and that I’m in the thick of it, but it happens and you have one of two choices: embrace it and move on, or not. Not moving on though, will wreak havoc on your body, mind and ultimately kill you. At least figuring out a plan out of the trench will give you the possibility of hope and success.

Special thanks to Chris McCombs (http://chrismccombs.net/) for writing blogs about this and many other topics. He’s got a much more direct way of saying some of the same things (you’ve been warned), but a great read.

Thanks for reading!

 

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~ by wendemachete on June 25, 2013.

2 Responses to “In the thick of it”

  1. Thanks for the real time talk prior to seeing this. Sometimes when situations suck the life out of a persons self-determination, the very best counseling are the ones after ones personal storm. Sometimes a person isn’t really angry, but lacking the empathy and also the spark to refuse a short-circuited mind matrix that blew up due to lack of commonality relating. Thanks for the sympatico/empatico real time.

    • Anytime my friend. I know how hard it can be to be criticized by people who have never walked your path. Just know that some of us have walked similar ones though. Take care Dan ❤

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