This challenge has been a challenge

For the last few weeks, everything that could go wrong has managed to go wrong. Emotions have been running high, and I’ve been rocking 3-5 hours of sleep a night thanks to my daughter doing whatever it is that babies do when they’re not sleeping. I’ve faltered a time or 12. I’m cussed, I’ve lost my temper, I’ve cried, and mentally cursed Tony Robbins. Of course, I made this decision and ultimately, I feel good about the choices I’ve made. I feel like this challenge has sparked me to make positive changes in my thinking, speaking, and actions on a daily basis. It’s allowed me the skills and determination to slow down, and become more consciously aware of how I’m interacting with the outside world. The inside world still needs a lot of work and support, but things are getting better on the surface. That’s the face I put into the world and it’s important that I put my best face forward. The internal stuff will come in time. Changing a lifetime of internal monologue is no easy task, nor will it just happen in a flash. But I’m confident that I’ll get there.

I know that the world has been a tough one for my bestie lately too. She’s been overworked and underappreciated at her job, and taxed by homework and her daughter being in high school certainly hasn’t helped her stress level, but I know, like everything else, she’s kicking ass. I know she might be feeling like she’s struggling, and adding one more thing to the mix seems daunting. But I know that everything will balance out for her and I both very soon.

I’m so grateful for everything that I have in my life and that I’m healthy. I’m thankful that my bestie is such a great friend who supports me and our endeavors with such grace. I’m thankful that I’ve got a three day weekend with my family too. I miss my kid during the week and it’s the last weekend that I get with her for a couple months due to some personal enrichment classes I’m taking. It’ll be challenging to basically be busy 7 days a week outside the house, but it’s going to be for the best. Not only will it be for personal gain, but mental and hopefully professionally too. Great things are just on the horizon and I’m excited to see what happens.

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~ by wendemachete on September 2, 2016.

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